This work by Rayven Holmes is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
- I won’t actually use the Pearls methods on my children. I’ve put too much hard work into raising critical thinkers with a high self-worth to undo that. Plus, I love them far too much to break them. How can we break someone we love? I never could wrap my mind around that concept. Love is about building someone up not tearing them down. At least that's how I see it.
- I’ll log my children’s behavior and the “appropriate” consequence(s) the Pearls recommend I use along with what I actually did and why I do things the way I do.
- I’ll ask my children how they would feel if their consequence was what is recommended and document their response as well as my own response.
- On the show, I will have a visual to show the number of times it’s recommended to physically harm my children. I like visuals. While I deal in words, nothing can take the place of a powerful visual.
There will probably be swearing, ok there WILL be swearing, with my commentary as I work my way through the next couple of weeks. So much swearing and ranting…who the hell thinks it's ok to beat an infant?! Thor help me, it's going to be a long two weeks.
Woo. It intrigues me. If you don’t know what woo is, it’s basically pseudo-science. If someone is explaining something to you and your brain actually stops and says “WTF did they just say” you’ve encountered the woo. Woo can be fun sometimes. We’ve all read our horoscopes before but, it can also be dangerous when people replace sound medical advice with some stuff they found on the internet. We’re not getting into the dangerous stuff here, though, because I happen to enjoy my heathen existence. Instead, we’re going into the wacky world of vaginal steaming. A crazy trend made popular by a rich white woman who clearly needs more to do. *Psst, Gwyneth, my carpets needs a good steam if you’re free.*
Use your voice for something other than empty prayers that don’t impact the course of our society at all. That's what YOU can do.
Questions. Children have them. They are a never-ending chasm of questions and wonder. Of course, we want to encourage their questioning, their desire to know. Some damn days the answers don’t come as easily as we would like, though.
The other day Professor Chaos bolted into the living room, presumably basking in the glory of the removed baby gate, and positioned himself at the end of the couch. He had a question. Tilting his rainbow colored head to the side he began:
“Mom, dad says that boys can have vaginas and girls can have penises,” I confirmed that what his father had told him was correct and then I waited for the question(s) that I knew were about to follow.
“Well, how is that?” I breathed a sigh of relief, that one would be fairly easy to explain. I told him that people don’t always feel that their outside matches the person inside, so they take steps in a long process to make that happen. Sometimes that means changing everything, sometimes that just means a few things change. What’s in their underwear doesn’t define if they are male or female, though, the person defines that.
He nodded in understanding and then said, “Well, I get that. That’s not what I’m asking, though”. Then my heart skipped a beat because there wasn’t going to be anything easy about this conversation.
He started again “I want to know how they have a penis or vagina”. I looked at him for a moment, slightly confused, because we’ve discussed reproduction before, but he’s only seven and it’s been a while so I figured he needed a refresher. “Well, it happens in the womb when the baby is forming.” Then we watched a video on male and female sex organs and a four-minute time-lapse animated video on fetal development.