Ramblings...

Ah yes another change. Currently Child #1 is on a 1st/2nd grade reading level *when he actually tries to read*. He doesn’t always like to do it, and I can’t say I blame him. The selection for kids in that reading range isn’t very exciting. Of course the only way to get to the exciting stuff, is to wade through the not so exciting stuff. Over the summer we did two reading programs, both of which he thoroughly enjoyed. Mainly because, he got prizes after reading X-number of books or for an X-amount of time. I figured why not extend that to our everyday learning.

Now I’m not a big fan of the paying kids for grades thing that is sweeping parts of the US. Since I don’t see school as a job *or something a child must be paid to do in order to excel*, instead I see schooling as something far more complex. Where good grades are not the goal, but actual acquisition of the knowledge is. Hence our homeschooling, I do however think a little treat, something fun to work for, can get a non-interested reader started on path of unlimited possibilities.

Now how would our reading log be done? We will use a simple reading log printable off the web like one of *these*, and after ever ten books Child #1 will receive a sticker or a small piece of candy. Nothing outrageous or outlandish, no big screen TV *yes some student got a big screen for making straight A’s*, or flashy new gizmo. Just a sticker or piece of candy. Not much to most kids now-a-days I’m sure, but to our kids little things like that are awesome.

Now would I use this same method with grades later on down the road? No. Why? Because, we don’t do “grades”. As I stated previously, I feel education is about learning the material not about making good grades. Right now whenever Child #1 does something and hands it to me to check I go through it and if I notice something wrong like a misspelled word on a spelling test, or the wrong answer on a math problem I hand it back to him. I then instruct him to look over the problem again and double check his work, or if it is a spelling word I will say it again, making sure he listens closely *the majority of his spelling work right is heavily phonics based* We also keep a Language Arts binder with spelling rules in it so they are close at hand when he needs them.

I know I will have to keep “formal” grades once the boys get in the higher grades or if we move to somewhere that requires that. My plan for that are to take the initial grade and then the grade for the corrected work. I think that would be a far more accurate indication of what they can do then just the initial grade alone. Either way though they won’t get any cash from us for good grades. Now stickers and a piece of candy, well sweets do make the day brighter.

Now to go stock up on our sticker collection!

A friend of mine recently asked her friends’ list if they thought token economies worked. I think they can personally when handled properly and followed through on. It got me thinking about

1. How I need to go ahead and place my order with Accountable Kids, and

2. What is it I want to get out of the program.

I stumbled upon Accountable Kids while babysitting for a friend. She is a book junkie like I am so I often scan her bookcases when I’m in her home making a mental note of what I need to look up and learning a little bit about her as I go along *I’m a firm believer that ones bookshelf is a gateway into who they are, and it’s nice to see what gets my inner circle’s wheels turning*. As I scanned I saw Accountable Kids and figuring I had some time before she would return I plucked it off the shelf and began to read it.

Now we have dabbled in token economies before. First with a chore chart were every chore had a monetary value attached to it. This was mostly to help teach money and financial responsibility *saving for the bigger toy instead of blowing it the minute they got it*. I wasn’t really happy with it, since at the ages the kids are money doesn’t have the kind of value adults give to it and thus doesn’t allow for any sort of discipline measure *at least not in our home anyways*.

We currently have a family chore chart, and we all contribute to the final rewards *family movie nights, dinners out, fun park trips*, but that is more of a way to show how we all contribute to the home and our rewarded for our hard work at the end of the week. It still didn’t address some of the issues I felt were most important *accountability and consequences when one is irresponsible*.

Which is what made me nearly polish off the Accountable Kids book before my friend came home. It addressed the very issues I was trying to address. I enjoyed it’s method of handling discipline issues *I’m not all spanking is evil, but I personally want something different than what The Spouse and I grew up with*.

And most importantly it gives me a model to stick too, I think that has been the biggest problem is having a clear model we can use. What we have done has mostly just been pieced together and frankly not as affective as I would like and I know it is because of this lack of structure.

Something else stood out to me while reading the comments on the post, and it was that one commenter had said this method reminded them of Pavlov’s Dog experiment, which got me thinking on a deeper level about parenting, discipline, etc. Pavlov’s experiment is an act in classical conditioning where he used stimuli to induce a response in a dog. Even in it’s most simplest forms parenting can be seen as “conditioning”, although I prefer to not think of what I am doing as a parent in the same light as a scientist using a dog.

We start this from the time the child learns to roll over. First by moving objects out of their way *they soon recognize they can‘t have these items*, then proclaiming HOT! when they reach for the stove/oven *they soon remember they must not touch these items even if you aren’t around to tell them they are hot*, to potty training *it is called training after all* where we teach a child what to do when their body gives them the signals that it needs to go, it all adds up to producing someone who can navigate through life realizing that there are consequences and rewards *either internal or external* in life.

So it brought me to the conclusion that all parenting is conditioning in some form or fashion. The only thing that changes is the methods we use with our children. For some families it’s token economies, for others it’s grounding, bribing, time-outs, scolding, or corporal punishment.

Each method is an attempt to get the desired behavior that the parents/guardians want. Not all methods offer positive results *for instance bribing is usually done when the child is having a fit in an attempt to stop the behavior, which in a lot of cases just feeds the behavior later on so they can get their way*.

The most important thing about parenting regardless of how you look at it is that you do what you see is best for your child(ren) in a safe, loving, nurturing way. Ultimately, you want them to be accountable, confident, respectful, responsible, loving, and secure in who they are.

There are million and one different ways to do this, trust yourself and you will me amazed at where it can lead.

**For the record Accountable Kids isn’t paying me or giving me their product *I was just THAT impressed with what I read…and when it comes to books/products of this nature it takes A LOT to impress me*.**

I saw THIS on a thread over at Secular Homeschool and I really feel like it is meant to be shared with all.
Enjoy *tissues will be needed*.

So what has happened since I posted The Homeschooling Issue post? Well as readers of our family blog will know The Spouse came around. But how/why did he? And what does this mean for our homeschooling? Well after the post I collected the comments I received *thank you all very much!!* and put them in a word doc for him to read. There was some nodding, a few chuckles *that is ALWAYS a good thing with him*, and then a sigh of relief. He asked if I would be able to home school both of our boys and I assured him that I believe that I can. Then a few weekends later we went out and he purchased the two desks I had been wanting to get for our classroom, and he has frequently commented on how great the classroom is looking/coming along, and has even helped me with the plans to revamp the closet in that room ,so it is more useful for the purpose of that room, while not breaking any of the rules put in place by the housing office.

Of course having him onboard does come with some new challenges. Before I just had to contend with him not being thrilled with it, and it being a topic he didn’t really want to deal with, since he just assumed I would get off this kick when our oldest meet the age requirement for school. Now though he is very involved and wants it to be my main focus. Thus the reason for some of the changes I’m attempting to make over this weekend and this upcoming week. A lot of his questions now are “How will you work this in with schooling the boys?”, “What did you all get done today?”, and so on.

While I jumped one hurdle *a very massive hurdle actually* and we have moved to an area of agreement on the boys’ educations, we still have to learn the importance of balance. Yes I can still manage our home, have some shred of a social life, be a wife/lover/superwoman, and educate our children. It is just going to take balance…and a lot less time on Facebook.

But I am happy to have him onboard because,… I don’t think I could do this without a partner in the balancing act of home educating, at least not on the level I am aiming for.

Here’s to getting an A on the balance beam of homeschooling!

And just in case you are in need of some encouragement here are the wonderful comments I received.


Karen said...
Rayven and The Spouse,
Rayven...LAY OFF THE MAN! LOL Sometimes, "just because" means that he hasn't had the same amount of time that you have to research, think, formulate, and assemble his argument... ;-)
As for his arguments, though, I think that his fears are the "usual" ones. They are, actually, the fears of most parents, regardless of how one chooses to educate their children.
The Spouse is proud of his children and wants to stay that way. From the sounds of it, being proud in his family is scholastic success. It is the same in my family. Lots of disapproval here too.

HOWEVER, what can only be shown with time, the scholastic advantages are far less memorization and rote education and more critical thinking, creative thought, the ability to question, research, and seek out answers on their own. They embrace and welcome differences in people. We have very close friends of many different races, cultures, religions.

Just the other day, the kids were in the car with their public school cousins. The cousins called someone they disliked a "Jew", they made fun of a pedestrian's hair, and they said disparaging remarks about a black family walking towards the store in the parking lot. Seriously! *I* was steaming in the front seat. But I heard my kids say, "Well, we have friends who are Jewish, so we don't find that funny." and "His hair is different, but it's cool!" and "What is funny about people who are different?!" My kids were, in fact, shocked to hear the things the cousins were saying.

Also, I can speak of my kids and the other HS kids that I know: people are ALWAYS impressed with how mature they are. They are a wonderful combination of MATURE and INNOCENT. They can and do talk to ANYONE with confidence and interest. They also still sleep with their stuffed animals and play with them.

*grin*

So, while my kids can't name the capitol cities of Peru or New Jersey, they are brilliant in other ways, and they know exactly how to find out and to evaluate the efficacy of websites they are one. Also, *I* don't know the capital cities of Peru or New Jersey.

So, Holmeses, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And MUCH LOVE,
Karen


MOM #1 said...
Well, as someone who has homeschooled a son from elementary through high school, all I can say is where there's a will - there's a way.

It really depends on what state you're living in at that time and the requirements of the colleges you plan to apply to. I live in a state that's so ridiculously easy to homeschool in, it's just plain silly. All of our local universities actively recruit homeschoolers.

We also went the route of community college first and will transfer to a major university in a couple of years. I feel this is a way to get Baby Boy acclimated to being in a classroom since he hasn't been in one in almost 10 years. I don't want him to have his first classroom experience away from home with a bunch of strangers. I feel that would be irresponsible of me. We chose that route because we COMPLETELY home-schooled high school, as in only one outsourced class during his final year and no tutors, etc . . . so he has no classroom experiences other than a few years of elementary school.

Another benefit of this method, in my opinion, is that the high school transcript becomes inconsequential, although I know for a fact that universities do accept mommy-made transcripts all the time. When transferring to a university, they will be looking at his previous college transcript.

It's way too much to discuss thoroughly in a blog comment, LOL. ;-) Mom #2 and I just always knew we could do it, so we did. But we have inflated egos like that, I guess.

Everyone's education is so personal anyway, there's no way to actually standardize education. Children in different states, towns, even different areas of the same city are never actually all learning the same thing. We taught Baby Boy what we thought he should know, included stuff he wanted to know, and just kept an eye on our target university guidelines . . . it really isn't as hard as people make it out to be.

Email me anytime. Also visit the high school and college boards of the WTM forums . . . they are a WEALTH of knowledge.


Karen S. said...
Many colleges are actively seeking homeschooled students because they excel in academics and have proven themselves to be leaders on campus. My oldest attends a private university that recruited him because of ACT scores. My next son will be attending a state university. Neither schools had any problem with a homeschool transcript. No GED's for us either!!

Wendy said...
At the moment, I would like to homeschool until our son is 16, and HOPE he will go to college at that point (I'm so envious of Mom #1!!!). But, of course, that is our son's choice.

Anyhow, the plan at the moment is to homeschool until the age of 16, but we will revisit the issue of "how long" when he's old enough for middle school, and again when he's old enough for high school.

So we have a basic plan/hope/desire, but know that things could change and are open to analyzing each year. :)


Melonie said...
Rayven - I have some resources and hopefully some encouragement that I can share later. As others have already commented, though, there are schools out there who not only "accept" homeschooled applicants but actively seek them out and recruit them heavily *because* they are homeschooled. And some of them are Ivy League. So while I know that won't take away all of Mike's worries, I can attest to it (I've worked with some of them directly on their ad campaigns) and hopefully it will be a little encouraging.

With love, your right wing nutball homeschooling token LDS friend. *guffaw*

Oh wait, that might not encourage him.... heeheeheehee {{HUGS}}

PS (Mostly to The Spouse) For the folks at work who are either a) not familiar with homeschooling and just think it's "weird" but are actually curious about it or b) are uninformed/misinformed jerks who are way to nosey.... a good tactic for dealing with it is to simply say, "Actually home education has grown exponentially in the military community because it provides a security and flexibility in scheduling as well as a flexibility and opportunity for continuous flowing schooling despite PCS, TDY/TAD, etc that military families face throughout the years. There are multiple military sources that not only 'allow' disemination of information to service members about homeschooling but actively support/encourage families who choose to educate at home."

Military Spouse Magazine has run a pros/cons article, and The Griffon (which is "required reading") for the upper echelon of multiple Army units actually provides support/encouragement articles directly to troops/families that are provided by homeschool companies and homeschooling parents (myself included - they've run multiple pieces by me and I've also sent them edited pieces by other authors for a previous employer).

Oh yeah, and then there's that whole Rosetta Stone thing......a few military folks might know *that* name. LOL ;-P

Once he gets more comfortable with it and feels more statistically informed, I'm sure he'll come up with his own more personalized (to the questioner) response... but that's a basic start he might like to reflect on. When the high-mucky mucks are supportive of it, then it's either really good or really bad. hahaha (Totally kidding - it's a good thing.)