This article on Slate is making the rounds today…and it’s the typical anti-homeschooling nonsense we have all come to know and love. Although, this one is a bit different because it takes aim at “progressive, liberal” homeschoolers, did I just get called out? I did! Darn it! I was hoping to just read this, get pissed and then return to my cave.

I’ll give run through all the silliness-and some opinions of course, because you know we all have one, even if they are wrong-:

1.First we have the a-typical worst case scenario used to paint a portrait of all homeschoolers/unschoolers

2.We have the vast assumptions that if you fit into this group here –in this case liberals- that you of course do the following: don’t use textbooks, only teach history that fits into your viewpoints, and teach college level math to 13 year olds-regardless if they are ready for such a thing or not-

3.If you homeschool then you believe you alone should decide how your child is educated-ok I must admit that I believe the education of one’s offspring should fall on the PARENTS regardless if they make the decision to send their child to public school, private school, or use one(or all) of the many methods of homeschooling. That decision lies with the PARENTS because THEY are the ones responsible for the child that THEY created/adopted, so that part isn’t really silly although their claim that this is somehow a bad thing is very silly- If the decision isn’t being made by you then who is calling the shots with your child, and more importantly why are they the ones doing it and not you?!

4.If you homeschool you hate public school, you don’t trust it, you are taking part in some elitist, two parent home, class privilege- ok I had to stop and laugh for a bit at that part. I’m so glad they injected a bit of humor in that article. But seriously though of the homeschooling families I know I can’t think of one I would classify as “privileged” unless we are talking about their homeschooling classroom/space I which point the correct word I would use would be “envy” as I really would love a large homeschooling area. Although, living overseas doesn’t allow for much space –glances at clutter…I should be ashamed, but I’m not-. Many homeschooling families actually have a child or two in public/private school as well. I know this probably comes as a shock to the writer, folks use both methods?! Why yes, yes, they do. Because, each child is different and part of being a good parent means doing what is best for your child, either through public, private, or homeschooling. Also, the two parent thing…given the divorce rate in America one can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, there are some homeschoolers in single parent homes. In fact, a good friend of mine, and single mother, homeschools her children. It’s only temporary, but I think that makes her a good parent since she is putting an effort into her children’s educations instead of just sitting around waiting for when a school that doesn’t make her cringe becomes available, but what do I know I’m an elitist. She also isn’t a “welfare queen” either, yes that’s right single homeschooling parents work hard at paying jobs too, in fact many homeschooling families where there are two parents also have two incomes, go figure!

5.Oh this one is a goody, ok it’s another a-typical scenario where a group of parents sets up a preschool playgroup for children that have “never left their side”-considering that a preschooler is usually between the ages of 3-5 years old the whole “never left their side” thing kind of makes sense. Other than a babysitter where is the kid going to go if one of the parents stays home? Then there is that silly assumption that attachment parenting equals kids who have never been away from their parents and breastfeed well past toddlerhood? Yeah that last part confuses me as not every attachment family engages in extended breastfeeding. I get it, you see the word attachment and you think permanently conjoined at the hip, or that they are still hanging on by the umbilical cord, I get it, the word is hard for you to understand. So let me grab the dictionary and define the words “attachment” and “parenting” for you:

Attachment: 1. Emotional Bond: an emotional bond or tie to somebody or something.

Parenting: Child-Rearing: the experiences, skills, qualities, and responsibilities involved in being a parent and in teaching and caring for a child.

So what happens when we put the words together? We get “Attachment Parenting”: a parenting style that establishes an emotional bond with the child through the child’s upbringing –I made that up using my knowledge of the two words, it’s amazing what someone can do with a little knowledge!- Now yes, we do the “attachment parenting” thing. Of course I just define it as loving my kids and doing what feels right. If I have an infant that needs to eat every 2-4 hours why would I stick him or her in another room, when I can easily have them room-in with us and not have to go hunting for them at night? It seems rather counterproductive to place them in another room don’t you think? Of course attachment parenting involves way more than just extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping, it also entails respect for my child as an individual and validation of their emotions. Of course I wouldn’t expect someone who only has a TV based knowledge of what attachment parenting is to actually understand. That would involve some thought and actual research, what happened to those in journalism? Then there is the a-typical “hippy” homeschooler. To quote Cartman “die you damn hippies!” Ok, not really, I love hippies, they are fun. I’m not one though, I prefer to eat plants not smoke them and I’m not a big fan of tie-dye, sorry I disappointed you again-but I did just give into a stereotype, darn it I thought I was better than that!-.

6.“I don’t want my children to be raised by someone else for eight hours out of the day” this was a comment made by the “hippy” homeschooler. This isn’t silliness. There is a quote that most homeschoolers know “I’ve seen the village and I don’t want it raising my children”, I stick by this quote. I love it. It sums up so much of what I feel on the issue and you can call me every name in the book for making the decision to homeschool my children, because all you are doing when you do that is confirming that the village has NO business raising my children. Of course the writer of the article can’t let that quote go, and so the silliness resumes. The assumption is made that we are only teaching our children to trust just us, the hand-picked few people we allow them to come in contact with, and no one else. Yup, everyone else is just pure evil. Then there is the whole “it’s hard work to be your child’s “everything””. Ok, that part is a bit true. It is hard work being a PARENT period. It doesn’t matter if your kid learns at home or at a building someplace else if you are a real parent you are involved in their life. While they may not acknowledge you as their “everything”, you are in fact their “everything”. Taking them to school –or pulling up a chair and teaching them- , picking them up-either from school or the afterschool program you place them in(and pay for)-, sitting up and doing homework with them, helping build science fair projects, and mediating fights between siblings and friends. You cook, clean, and drive them from one sport, musical, or school related activity to another. Without you, you the active, involved parent, they would have nothing, because you hold the keys to everything. You get to know their teachers or you plan co-ops, you take an active role in your child’s life and in doing that you are doing WORK. Lots of hard work that will pay off in the end. If you don’t want to work hard I suggest you don’t reproduce. And furthermore if you see tending to your children as being their “babysitter” PLEASE I beg of you DO NOT reproduce! You ARE NOT their babysitter, you are their PARENT. If you can’t handle that work –and as I stated before it doesn’t matter what method of education you use an involved parent is going to put in some serious work- then put on a condom!, instead of sitting around bashing those of us who feel our work as a parent also includes overseeing our children’s academic educations as well.

7.Then there is the “if you homeschool you have money” nonsense. I would really like to know where this one came from. Ever since we started homeschooling that is all I ever see, homeschooler=wealthy. People with money tend to, overwhelmingly so, put their children in private schools that reflect their views and opinions-wait…where is the article on them?-. Look, if we were wealthy my husband wouldn’t need to lace up a pair of combat boots every day and pull 10-12hr shifts-without overtime-, nor would he need a job that runs the risk of killing him before he hits the age of retirement. Don’t be so ignorant and uninformed to believe that because we are able to live off of one income that we can do so easily and that it doesn’t come with its sacrifices. For us, for our family, and millions more these sacrifices are worth it. The fact that I have the ability to halt lessons on days when the pain of daddy being gone is too much to bear, the fact that my children don’t have to worry about missing a school lesson in order to be there when their father steps off a plane, makes every penny we have to stretch worth it. I know, for those who don’t understand the concept of attachment parenting wrapping your mind around the fact that a family chooses the emotional well-being of their children over keeping the status quo seems a bit difficult to grasp. So here is a visual:

This Means More To Me:

Photo Credit

Than This:

Photo Credit

8.The writer claims we aren’t a country ready to self-educate our kids…nope we aren’t. I’ll agree there, but a lot of us better be willing to because our public schools aren’t ready to educate a fraction of the children that walk through those doors. The sad reality is that most of our public schools are understaffed and over budget. It was bad when I was in school and I finished high school almost a decade ago when the economy was actually doing pretty well and I know it hasn’t got any better-in many cases it has got worse-. When I was in school you had 30-32 students to a classroom and only about 28 desks. Usually a student sat at the teacher’s desk to get their work done. If we wanted to be able to write on a worksheet assignment we had to provide the copy paper ourselves, not to mention the countless other supplies the school needed each semester for each class. There are exceptional school systems, where the class size is just right, there is an abundance of school supplies, and the teachers are well-paid and not overworked slaves. These school systems are not the norm and furthermore tend to be in affluent areas-as in areas the average homeschooling family can’t afford to live and since most school systems use a zoning technique to determine who goes where if you don’t live in that nice neighborhood you might as well not bank on your kid going to that nice school-. That’s the reality of the American school system on average, if people really hate it they should spend more time trying to fix it instead of attempting to blame the problem on those of us who have found a solution that works for our families. Putting our children into the problem schools won’t fix the problems, in fact it will just cause more problems –since you have more bodies but no extra money to provide them with up to date textbooks, materials, or in some cases even a place to sit!-.

9.Then the writer goes into the typical kids will meet people from different social and racial backgrounds, I covered above that where you live determines where you go to school so you essentially will interact with the same kids who live around you and more than likely come from the same background as you, whose parents income is similar, and who are probably the same race as you. Furthermore, my children are part of the minority of children being raised in bi/multi-racial families by the time they are adults they will be able to write a book on everything they’ve experienced in their Northern Yankee/ Southern Conservative family. Not to mention the experiences they gain from being the children of a service member whose job gives them the unique experience of meeting people from other countries, belief systems, and economical levels. You can try to tell me all day long that my kids will experience a better variety of people in public schools but I will just call shenanigans on that nonsense. Generally, we all know this agreement is pointless, unless you just don’t allow your children near anyone who doesn’t look, talk, walk, spend, and believe like you. At which point I say SHAME!

10.The writer finally gets to the reason behind their homeschooling distaste, FINALLY! A family of public school educators. I don’t get it. I mean what is so upsetting about parents doing what you “do”? Granted, I don’t do what public school teachers do,-I’m not micromanaging a classroom of kids, and figuring out the lowest common denominator that I need to teach to- and before someone goes and blows a gasket on me, that me clarify something, the only debt I have in my name is for student loans taken out to get a degree in…wait for it…wait for it…EDUCATION! Yeah, I know crazy, right? I actually wanted to be an educator and then I thought wait…I don’t like what I’m seeing in these schools and no matter how hard the teachers try things aren’t changing. Maybe, I should put the education of my own children first instead of relying on a system that disturbs me. Not saying I hate public schools-or that they are the “root of all evil” some are actually doing great things and some kids do really well in them, but they aren’t good enough for my kids. So, maybe I am a bit elitist, I value my own children’s educations over others, and I don’t think a school should be compared to a “daycare” either. Really? Come on, at this point we should just call it what it is, 8 hours of herding children together like cattle to keep them out of the way of all the “hard-working” adults.

Our young people deserve better than this. Until the system changes, until our tax dollars are used for properly educating children, then our children will remain at home.

You don’t have to like it and you damn sure don’t have to agree with it, but my kids are worth the hard work that goes into home educating them and if you can’t see that then may I suggest some glasses, oh and this Webster’s Dictionary too!

Copyright(c)2012 Rayven Holmes


  1. Looking back at the article, on which I commented this morning (as you know), I had no idea the discussion became so active and heated over the course of the day! LOL

    People are entitled to their opinions, however I stand by my opinion that it is all about choice. Seems pretty simple to me, but of course many people fear that which they do not understand. Therefore, they choose to remain willfully ignorant and denigrate others for making such choices. Oh well.

  1. I'm tired of people writing about what they do not know.
    Thanks for the rebuttal Rayven!

  1. Annoying.

    So instead of focusing on the important stuff like the 2012 election, the continual, arterial loss of women's rights, and the slow theocratic takeover of our supreme court and legislature--I now have to fight my own side about how to raise and educate my child in the midst of a 30 yr old ideological war, that has stripped our schools of common sense and efficacious educational techniques.

    Like I don't have enough to worry about.

    Should we fight or just ignore her?

  1. BPB: I'm choosing to ignore. As you said we have bigger issues at hand, plus I need to go and watch a cartoon with my kids. ;)

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